Tag: life

Weekend of Wonder

Hello again

Coming back to this space is like reuniting with an old friend; at first it feels like a lifetime has passed, there’s a worry that things won’t quite be the same but then you get chatting and it feels like you never even had time apart.

Well here I am, back with my second blog post after my little hiatus. I was actually really looking forward to making writing a blog post the first thing on today’s to do list, which is a good sign that the time is right and it feels good to officially be back in this little corner of the internet.

I’m easing into my Monday morning with a much needed coffee, whilst the therapeutic sound of rain bouncing off the kitchen velux’s is this morning’s soundtrack. I think it will be a day of slowly working through the to do list whilst swigging copious amounts of pipping hot tea.

An autumnal atmosphere is in the air and I’m feeling the shift in seasons in more ways than one. Lots of changes have been slowly taking shape in my life over these past several weeks and months and I feel like I’m now entering into a new chapter, or I guess you could even call it, ‘life season’.

Over the weekend I celebrated my hen do with a bunch of my favourite women. I was surprised with a fun filled weekend staying in a house in the country side (which also impressively had a hot tub and pool). We did everything from life drawing (such a funny and brilliant hen do idea), a cocktail making masterclass (I can now make an awesome Pornstar Martini), karaoke (although dare I say it I feel asleep for a period on the first night, so missed that bit), lots of drinking (obviously, and hence my impromptu nap on the first night), dancing, skinny dipping (I’ll say no more on that one) and there were more comedy moments than I can count. We laughed, we cried, we had deep chats and nostalgic moments. I got to have most of my favourite women all together in one space and it was truly wonderful.

I’m now sat here feeling incredibly grateful for such a wonderful hen weekend and the amazingly fun, caring, talented, hilarious and crazy women I have in my life. I promise to stop gushing shortly, but I just can’t stop smiling looking back at all of the photos and the videos from this past weekend (many of which will not be making it to the internet). I seriously couldn’t have asked for a better hen weekend and it’s one I’ll never forget.

So What Now?

Well I’m sat here nursing the remnants of my lukewarm coffee, which is a clear sign that it’s time to pop the kettle on and make a start on my first cup of tea of the day…oh and yes, there’s that whole, getting married thing too. There will be more to come on that soon enough. But for now, I’ll leave you with some images of me looking very bridal, in the white dress and veil that I wore over the weekend. As I said over on my Instagram, don’t let these images fool you, this was my one and only sophisticated moment of the weekend, and I did in fact spill not one, but two pink G&T’s down this dress before I even arrived at the location for the hen do. So if I look at all classy, well, I really wasn’t.

Ciao for now.

Samio x

Images shot by Onyi and edited by me.

September 9, 2019
Where Have I Been?

An Explanation

Where have I been…where have I not been is the question. Well, when I last posted here on my blog (gulps) in April, I was frantically putting together the finishing touches on a sponsored post that had been approved by a brand just hours before I was due to go away. I pretty much hit publish just before dashing off in a taxi to the airport, ready to set off on a flight to Australia…now this seems like the part in the story where I tell you I then went travelling for 6 months, hence the long absence here on my blog. But in fact I was away for just 3 weeks in total on that particular trip. No short vacation by any means, but not quite the impressive world travelling excuse which would have succinctly explained me abandoning my blog for what feels like a lifetime (and could actually be classed as such by internet standards).

I’m not quite sure why I let the time pass by for as long as I did, or even how for that matter. I call myself a blogger and I work doing this weird and wonderful online creative thing (call it being an influencer or whatever you wish) full time, but I’ve felt quite guilty that I’ve not actually been doing, well, what my job title suggests. I guess things have changed and evolved in this industry a lot more than I wish to fully acknowledge at times. As we all know, Instagram has somewhat taken over the blogosphere and so, many people have abandoned their blogs (or these days not even needed to start one in the first place), in favour of more frequent short form content. There’s been a real shift in the tide and I guess I’ve sort of floated along with it, without really realising. I get that things change and we do have to move with the times but I never wanted to leave my blog behind completely, gathering dust, and in fact I hate that I’ve pretty much done what I said I would try so hard not to.

Before I went full time with this thing, I don’t think I quite realised the scope of work that my job role would come to entail. I’ve talked before about the juggling act which this job and many similar self employed jobs require. A lot of the time you’re learning on the job and you’re soon forced to become well versed in roles that you may previously have had little interest in, but are required to do in order to keep your business going (especially if you’re a one man band). I really can’t complain, as I feel so incredibly grateful that I get to work for myself doing something I really love. This is just a way of giving some sort of explanation to both myself and this here space on the internet, as to why I’ve been away for so long.

Moving Forward

I’ve realised that as my business evolves and my work continues to expand, I need to allow myself to let go of certain things. You can pretty much say that’s what I’ve done by no longer posting here, but this has just made me realise that whilst something has to give, this doesn’t necessarily have to be it. It hasn’t been a concious decision to stop writing and sharing my long winded musings here, but after how overwhelmed I found myself getting with my work last year, I must admit that putting zero pressure on myself to post here in recent months has been one less thing to worry about.

The thing I’ve come to realise though are the things that I value most with what I do, and time is one of them. I’m now finally coming to terms with allowing myself to let go of certain responsibilities so that I have more time to focus on the things I actually want to, like my blog, and let go of the other things that I’ve maybe been holding onto for the sake of holding onto them. I think that the comfort zone you create for yourself can be rather deceptive, it has you believing that you’re exactly that ‘comfortable’, but maybe you’ll find a more suited position seated around a different table, you’ll just never know until you take a moment to come out of your ‘comfy’ spot and switch to a different chair.

And of course it wouldn’t be a Samio blog post unless there was a rather abstract metaphor squeezed in somewhere there, so good job I got one in right at the end. So on that note, that is the end of my blog post, and hopefully the (re-)start of many more.

Ciao for now.

Samio x

Images shot by Carrie and edited by me.

September 5, 2019
Suited & Booted And My Working Balance

Damien and I shot these images in January…JANUARY. It’s now April. I feel a reoccurring theme at the start of my blog posts of me often parroting on about how the time has flown by; but as I feel myself hurdling into Spring once again, it’s hard not to take notice and vocalise the fact that time has whizzed by, leaving me feeling solicitous in my want to get certain things done.

Once again my blog took a backseat over the month of March and it’s just a never ending cycle in the thing I like to call my ‘working life’s balance’. I spread my social media content across my blog, Youtube and Instagram. I’m like a juggler who has only ever learnt to juggle two balls well enough (does that even count as juggling). When it comes to juggling it all, I’ve never quite managed to keep all three balls going consistently at once, and so to metaphorically speak, I tend to drop a ball every now and then and focus on keeping the momentum with just two instead…until I finally feel ready to add in another ball again, which I eventually drop of course, and so the cycle continues like this.

It’s something I’m now very much used to and it’s something that doesn’t bother me so much these days, at least not like it did before. I remember a time (not that long ago actually) when I’d put immense pressure on myself to try and keep everything to a schedule which I inevitably always failed to stick to. I’d always wind up feeling rubbish about my inability to keep up with things and so in the end, after a good long while of this self critical behaviour and hitting breaking point with it, I had to take my foot right off the pressure peddle.

I’ve noticed the people who tend to do things best only focus on that one thing. My problem is, I like lots of things, so I often find it hard to focus on one, and only one consistently. So over time, I’ve come to find my own sense of balance with it all, which means focusing on the things I like in rotation. I’ll admit it can be a tricky one, especially when these thing form together to be my job, but I’ve found that this is how things work best for me right now.

I’m taking things a lot slower this year in all aspects of my life. It’s done wonders for my mind and even the way I approach things and take on work. Of course I still get stressed and have those periods of panic, but I feel a lot more in control of them than I did last year. Accepting that things can still move forward and progress positively without always being ‘on it’ (so to speak) with everything, has been quite a liberating feeling.

So whilst the change in seasons is a noticeable marker that time has passed and so I really need to get certain things done (like simply check in here for example), it’s not a real cause for concern and instead just a polite nudge to not forget about the other things that I also want and need to do.

And with that very long winded self-analytical, cathartical mind dump over, I’ll briefly finish with a bit about this outfit and the original reason for taking these images in the first place.

Back in October last year, Asos invited me along to their HQ for a tailoring workshop. As a lover of blazers over here, of course I jumped at the chance and so on a trip down to London I popped into Asos for an afternoon of suit browsing and fittings and in the process I got to have a behind the scenes look at the design process at Asos. As someone who has shopped on Asos a lot over the years, it was all very interesting to see and myself and the two other bloggers who were invited along, Chloe and Hannah, were kindly gifted our own bespoke suits and jackets. I went for this blazer and flared trouser combo in a black pin stripe and when it arrived in December I was eager to shoot in it, as well as wear it of course. I shot it in January, then fast forward to now and I’m only just getting round to sharing the shots, but better late than never hey.

Anyway, I just wanted to say a bit about the outfit in this post, to share a little bit about the fun experience and to put things into context as of course this exact design isn’t available online, however they do have the same style in different prints, some of which are perfect for Spring Summer and I’ve linked below.

So there we have it. That’s enough blabbering on from me for this post but I’ll catch up with you again soon. Ciao for now.

Samio x

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April 5, 2019
Sometimes I don’t start things in fear of them not being good enough

Sometimes I don’t start things in fear of them not being good enough. I’d love to say that I am fearless and that nothing phases me, but if I’m truly honest with myself, I don’t think I am.

In some aspects I am that fearless person and my passion to do certain things knows no bounds. At other times though, the longing is there, however the feelings of self doubt creep in and I am therefore held back by my own insecurities. I don’t feel particularly insecure on the surface, but if a fear of not being good enough at something is holding me back from doing it, then surely I have to admit that it stems from insecurity.

I think it comes down to knowing our strengths, or at least thinking we know them and getting into a habit of focusing on what we know and have been proven to be good at. A pastry chef may be confident in their ability to make the most amazing Profiteroles, but then ask them to say, make fresh pasta and they may feel unsure of their capability to do it to the standard which they have perfected with the profiteroles – and so may be reluctant to even try. This is a somewhat random example and there may be a pastry chef who reads this and is thinking ‘actually I can make wicked fresh pasta for your information!’. But my point is, stepping out of our comfort zone, even if only slightly, can often be more daunting than we give it credit. And so we find ourselves saying things we’d like to do, knowing full well that they are not entirely unachievable, however we never get round to doing them, due to something deep down holding us back. It’s that hidden insecurity, which we often bury with the age old excuses of not having enough time, or the right tools or enough money and so on.

When I think of all the things I started when I had no clue and very little resources but went ahead and did anyway; I think of how different things would have been if I had maybe never been brave enough to give them a go. My blog for one is probably one of my biggest examples. When I started my blog I didn’t even read them, I just had a passion to create and share and so that’s what I did. Of course I look back at some old posts and laugh to myself at their pointlessness, my questionable outfits and my writing (or lack of)…but if I hadn’t started, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Now I couldn’t imagine not having this little space on the internet and it still amazes me that it evolved into part of my job…but what if I’d never started. What if that self doubt had crept in, what if I’d had that overwhelming fear of not being good enough and I hadn’t just gone ahead and published my first post and continued to share regardless. Who knows, maybe I would have found something else that I was equally passionate about to focus on, maybe I wouldn’t. All I do know however, is that in starting I have no regrets and in fact I feel thankful to my past self for being fearless enough to just start something new.

Even when I look back at the things I tried and failed at, I never look back with regret, as each thing has taught me a lesson or two along the way, if not only given me some very funny stories, some of which I’ll maybe have to recount to you in future posts.

I guess it all comes down to the push. I’ll explain what I mean by that in a second, but first I want to say how it’s funny that I’d written the start of this blog post a couple of weeks ago and it had sat on my desktop, unfinished since then. Over the weekend though, I spent a lot of time chatting with some of my fellow creative friends and a lot of what we discussed actually focused on the topics in this post. I guess that’s what inspired me to pick things back up and finish this post today.

Basically, when chatting to a friend, I’d used an elaborate metaphor to describe a situation of trying something new and quickly transitioning from one period to another. I said how the thing we want to do but maybe feel too afraid to try is like diving into a swimming pool from a high up diving board; you find yourself standing on the diving board and looking down at the deep blue pool below. It looks appealing, inviting even, but you are so far away from it, it looks too scary to just dive right in.

And so you wait, stood on the diving board (in your safe space if you like) looking into the deep blue water below, wondering and imagining what it would be like but not feeling quite brave enough, or feeling like it’s not quite the right timing to just dive right in…until eventually, (if you’re lucky), you get the push. Either through forces outside of your control, or through your own urges to get on with it, you jump.

Then you find yourself falling and plummeting into the freezing cold water. It’s different, it’s outside of your safe space and it can even be a shock to the system. But then you pull yourself to the surface and catch your breath. You realise that you did it, in fact, you’re doing it right now. It still feels different but you dived right in and now you’re finally doing the thing that you’ve been wanting to do for the longest time.

It’s not necessarily easy, but you have two choices, you either stick in this pool and keep swimming, or you get out. The longer that you’re in the water though, the more you find yourself getting used to it and soon you start to swim, you even start to enjoy and become good at it and eventually you look back and think, I’m glad I dived in.

Like I said, that was my very elaborate (and somewhat long winded) metaphor, but it’s the best way I can describe the process and it pretty much sums up some of my own experiences. There have been times where I have got out of the pool (metaphorically speaking) after having dived into certain situations. It’s important to know that not every experience will wind up being for you, and that’s completely okay…but then if you never try you’ll never know. So what’s it going to be, stay firmly planted on the board, or dive right in?

Samio x

The photos in this post were shot by myself. I have a series called #SamiosSelfPortraits which you can see more of here.

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February 4, 2019
Lookbooks, Life & Some Double Denim

I’m looking back over January with fondness; that’s not something I usually say about the first month of the year but it seems I surpassed the dreaded January blues and actually had a pretty good month, despite the bad weather and having had a cold…It’s what I’d call a ‘getting things done’ month. I got lots of little things ticked off (as I’d mentioned in my last post), I set a few things in motion which I’d been wanting to do for a while, and made a few fun plans, which I’m looking forward to over the coming year.

I think taking a slower approach has been the best decision I’ve made for the start of this year. The irony is that work has been even busier, but what’s changed is my approach to it all and I’m managing everything a lot better. I’m enjoying working on less but bigger projects which I can really channel my focus into and not feel so overwhelmed by lots of little things all building up. I’ve started as I wish to go on, so hopefully this is habit forming for the rest of the year with how I manage my time and work.

As we veeerryy slowly creep towards Spring (I say this as I can still see the remnants of snow outside my window), I’m really looking forward to lighter evenings and warmer days – but aren’t we all! We may have a while to wait yet but that doesn’t stop me from musing over Spring outfits on Pinterest and curating ideas in my head for the milder months.

I was recently offered a gifting from cult Australian brand Oneteaspoon and so after browsing through the website I decided to pick out a few pieces that I felt would be good all-year round staples. I hadn’t planned on putting a look together for my blog as such; however the other day as I was trying on and styling the jeans and jacket that I had picked out, I decided to take a quick snap in it for Instagram, which then swiftly turned into an impromptu photoshoot. As I’ve been getting back into shooting self portraits this year, I’ve really been enjoying shooting more lookbook style shots again, which fit together perfectly as little series of images. This is something that’s not so easy to share on Instagram, and often I find myself torn as to which one image I will share there. This is why I will always love my blog, as it allows me curate a selection of images and tell a story – or in this case, show an outfit.

Outfit posts on blogs have died out a bit over the past few years, and it’s no surprise why, as Instagram makes everything so quick and accessible, why even need to visit a blog. But for me, it’s still a process I enjoy and a part of me slowing down in life, is also slowing down somewhat online too. I don’t want everything I put out to be so fast pace and disposable. I don’t live or shop that way, so why share that way? So I’ve been enjoying styling and shooting more outfits again recently and I have lots more that I’m looking forward to sharing over the coming days and weeks. Here’s to a happy and chilled February, have a good one!

Samio x

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February 1, 2019
January Hues

Oh, it’s still January. And there was me thinking it should surely be February already. I’m not wishing time away or anything but I have to agree with the many observations I’ve seen expressed on Twitter, that this does feel like an awfully slow month. No wait, I shouldn’t say ‘awful’, there’s nothing particularly awful about it for me personally (as long as you exclude the weather and well, Brexit – let’s not even go there)…but aside from all the gloomy stuff that we’d rather bury our heads in the sand about, over here and on a personal level, things are going pretty okay. I’m taking things slow, as I mentioned in my previous post and with it, time seems to be moving a lot slower too. I have to say this is something that I’m actually pretty pleased about. I didn’t think it was possible to really take control of your time in such a way but it seems that by taking certain pressures off your plate, it allows you more time to breathe and simply think. Usually I feel a constant rush of catching up, but over these past few weeks I’ve been moving at a sloth like pace, making my way from one task to the other and taking my time as I do so.

It’s unlikely things will remain like this, we are only at the start of the year after all, but for the moment I’m thankful for the seemingly abundant time. There are lots of things I need to sort out, plan and do…but like I’ve said previously, I’m in no rush to do them all at once. The ‘one thing at a time’ approach definitely works best for me.

So far this year I’ve been making a concious effort to tick some things off the list that I’ve been wanting to set in motion for ages. I’m first focusing on those little things that are often pushed aside in favour for the bigger or more urgent things, but that you know are always there, niggling. It feels good to be be paying attention to the smaller things that are seemingly less important, but will inevitably be one less distraction or thing to worry about in the long run.

Anyway, I’m back to capturing self portraits, as you’ll see from this post and the one before. Aside from a few campaigns that I’ve shot with the help from Damien, I’ve not been in front of the camera much so far this year. I think this time last year I was on a roll with shooting but as I’m going at a much slower pace this year, I’m taking things easy. I did have a burst of inspiration the other afternoon though when I decided to shoot these shots. Currently the spare bedroom/soon to be office room is waiting to undergo a transformation, but in the meantime it’s providing a great space for shooting in whislt making the most of the natural light.

Samio x

#SamiosSelfPortraits

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January 23, 2019
A New Year, A New Pace

It’s two and half weeks (and a bit) into the year already and I’ll start by saying overall, so far, so good. I kicked off my year (as usual) feeling incredibly hungover but with little regret, as we’d once again achieved the success of an epic new year’s eve party, with lots of our close friends round at ours to celebrate.

Due to these spirited (in more ways than one) New Year’s Eve celebrations, I tend to officially start my new year on the second day of January, when my brain is no longer rattling in its scull, we’ve swept up any lingering glitter and any traces of Christmas have been tidied away.

This year however, my body had another idea and I woke up on the second of January with a cold, or as I’ll refer to it, my very own bout of severe level Man flu. It was annoying, to say the least and I must admit that by week two I was feeling a tad stir crazy, which led me to feeling quite sorry for myself – poor Damien bore the brunt of it each day when he’d return home from work and I’d be vying for attention like a puppy who’d been left alone at home all day.

In the grand scheme of things it’s not the worse thing that could happen and a cold is just a fleeing setback that most of us have to deal with around this time of year. Plus, whilst being sofa residing for the most part of two weeks, I did in fact still manage to get some work done. I even managed to drag myself away from my snotty tissue ridden hovel that I’d nested myself into on the sofa, put on some makeup and shoot some collaborations in time for their deadlines – go me!

So as I said, cold aside, not a bad start to the year. Now I’m 3 days post cold and feeling enthusiastic to officially get into my year properly.

I always tend to have my positive and optimistic head on around this time of year. I think a lot of us are still feeling driven and that motivation can be quite infectious at times. However, as we move towards the end of the month, I do find there is a tendency for things to all slowly go downhill from there. The January blues creep in and the reality that we’ve not even reach the coldest and gloomiest part of winter hits. It’s like the glum slog between Christmas and Spring that feels never ending. Between that and the emphasis on ‘keeping up with those goals’, there can be an overwhelming pressure to be living our best lives, when all we really want to do is go into hibernate until it’s summer.

I feel different this year though, still eager for summer yes, but just a lot less pressured. Even whilst snivelling my way through the first two weeks of this year, I was still feeling (albeit a little tired) content and calm mentally.

I think the main thing that’s helped my mindset has been my shift in focus this year. I already spoke in my last post about ‘things I’d like to do more of in 2019’, and wanting to have more me time was a big overriding theme there. I’ve been abiding by my own ‘rules’ and allowing myself to switch off, guilt free. I’ve got lost in the pages of a good book, wrote for the sake of writing and switched off from social media. It’s really done me the world of good. It’s also shown me that things don’t all just crumble when I stop. Just because the whole world feels like it’s going at 110mph, it doesn’t mean I have to.

We’re still only two weeks into this year, yes, but so far I’m finding a nice balance between work, me time and socialising (more emphasis can go on the socialising now that I’m lurgy free). I’ve started as I mean to go on, set things in motion that will help me in the long run, started to form new habits that are allowing me to relax and given myself the permission to go at my own pace, which is a lot slower than previously.

Samio x

#SamiosSelfPortraits

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January 17, 2019
Things I’d Like To Do More Of In 2019

Create Art

When I was younger (I’m talking pre-teens), my hobby was always focused on or around art. It sounds somewhat vague but if you would have asked me what my hobby was when I was younger (aside from singing and writing *cough* masterpiece, stage plays for myself and my friends to perform), I would have answered with ‘art’…Creating art, doing arty things and basically taking a huge leaf out of Neil Buchanan’s book and making art, out of basically anything I could get my hands on, was my thing. And I mean, anything. I went as far as ‘collecting’ the insides of toilet rolls, which I’m pretty sure drove my Mother mad at the time. But I never knew when my next creative project would require such unique and versatile props, and let me tell you, the middle of a toilet roll came in handy for a number of my ever dynamic projects.

Moving into my teens I thankfully abandoned the hoarding of loo roll middles. Long gone were my days of creating ‘art’ out of random bits of cardboard, which had been stuck together with PVA glue and professionally finished off with a bullet proof coating of Papier-mâché…but my love for creating did not subside. If anything it grew and with it so did my passion for drawing and painting.

I’m going to boastfully toot my own horn here, and proclaim that I was very good at art growing up (if I do say so myself – but so did my art teacher *toot, toot*). I loved to consume art and I loved to create it. I even used to have a boy in high school pay me to do his art homework because he wasn’t very good at it and, well, I was…but we won’t get too much into that adolescent fraudulent activity in today’s post.

Basically much of my life growing up revolved around being arty and in particular drawing and painting. This lasted right up until my university years…and then, I stopped. I’m not entirely sure why. I guess it’s that age old thing (excuse the pun), of getting older and ‘no longer having time’.

Then into my 20’s my hobby and outlet for being creative evolved into my blog, which then evolved into my job…and then I wound up here, in my late 20’s and hobby-less.

I think it’s important to have hobbies and to be able to tune out to something that isn’t just work related all of the time. Whilst I love my work, I also love having something else outside of it, or else work can become too all consuming without me even realising it. So in a round up to this rather long winded summery, I basically want to get back to creating more tangible art. The stuff that’s non-work related, on paper, or canvas, and maybe even something I can hang on my wall if I fancy. We shall see.

Do More of My Other Hobby

Okay, I tell a lie. I do have hobbies, which I do still practice, I just don’t think I spend enough time on them as I should do.

Another one of my hobbies, which I wish to spend more time on, is acting. I actually got back into it for the first time in a loooonng time, this year. I did two short films this year and I have to admit, I was very rusty getting back into the swing of things. But, it didn’t matter, because ultimately I had fun, and that for me is what it’s all about.

I spoke about ‘things I maybe could have been but wasn’t’ in a previous post a few months back, and an actress, was one of the things I’d mentioned. Acting has always been a passion of mine, which I went as far as to study at university. And whilst I don’t pursue acting as a career, it’s still something I haven’t lost my love for. It’s almost a passion I forget I have until I exercise it and then my love for it comes flooding back. For me it’s such a great escape from the real world, when I’m learning a script, developing a character and then performing. I really do enjoy it and after having got back into it a bit this past year, it’s definitely something I want to do more of, purely for the enjoyment of it.

Drive

Now this next one is not a hobby, in fact, I’ll go as far as to say, it’s not something I particularly enjoy. I don’t hate driving but I wouldn’t say it’s something I’ve ever been excited to do and I certainly don’t have ‘fun’ doing it. Quick back story, for those of you who don’t know, I passed my driving test back in June . After having put off having driving lessons for years and years…and years, I finally decided to bite the bullet back in March and learn to drive. I surprised myself and actually flew through my lessons, and then surprised myself even more when I passed first time. It’s just another example that it’s never too late to learn something new, (even if it’s something you’re not that interested in). Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely glad I learnt to drive but I still don’t have that eagerness or excitement to get in a car and actually drive anywhere.

I’ve neglected my (no longer so) newly learnt skill and I’m still not confident enough to drive on the roads without someone in the passenger seat (preferably Damien – although I’m pretty sure I make him nervous).

The hard part is over. I passed the test. I have the little pink ID and all that, I just need to get off my butt, or actually get on my butt more, and off my feet, and get on the roads! So this year, I need to get back to practicing and building up my confidence driving. I know it will benefit me in the long run and then I won’t have to always rely on Damien to drive us when we need to do a big shop and I’ll be able to go homeware shopping whenever I like too. An excellent benefit.

Write

Well, here I am, writing. Technically, my self proclaimed mish-mash of a job title that is ‘blogger/creative’, implies that I spend the majority of my time writing and whilst in some ways I do (emails are the bane of my life), I actually don’t, in the way in which I’d like…

Blogs are making a comeback. There, I said it. How do I know? Because I said so! Okay, I don’t know, but even if they’re not, I know I want to write more, and my blog is the perfect place for me to do just that. I know this comes back to my job, but I also want to continue to write more of the personal, more diary style posts (like this one) too. Hence me writing right now, because if you hadn’t noticed, this little corner of the internet has been getting a bit more action than usual recently and I have to say, I’m pretty happy about it.

Along with my 100 other, partially abandoned creative related hobbies that need dusting off, writing (surprise, surprise) is also one of them. So to bring it back to my initial point, I’ll be doing more writing here and offline going forward this year.

Exercise

Now before this sounds like a cliche ‘new year, new me’ segment, it’s actually more a case of ‘new year, more of last year me’. Okay that sounded rubbish, but maybe you get my point. I’ve mentioned a few times on the blog about how Damien and I started PT sessions back in August, and if you follow me on Instagram and watch my Instastories then you’ll definitely know that we have since become avid bootcamp/gym goers over the past several months.

I’d go as far as to say it’s actually changed our lives, the whole, getting into fitness thing. It’s been a small, yet at the same time big life change and we’ve just added a new element into our routines that includes working out. Having the PT was just the push we needed to get us into the swing of things and I couldn’t recommend JAG fitness enough who have helped Damien and I so much. For someone who has a job which at times can have no real-routine when it comes to work, it’s actually nice having the routine of working out. For me it helps me mentally as much as it does physically, if not more. It serves as a great time out for me and when I start my morning with a workout I feel like my day is off to a good start.

Read

And if I didn’t already have enough things I wanted to do more of, here is one more. Read. I want to read more books and even more blogs too. I used to love doing a lot of both but in the past year or so I’ve done very little of either.

I feel myself wanting to revert back to my old ways and slow things down a little. It’s often hard, with social media and the online world, as everything is quick and in your face. As it’s a big part of my job, I often feel obliged to constantly been involved in the online world and it’s hard to digest everything, and if I’m honest I can find it quite overwhelming.

Switching off from social media over the festive period has made me realise how much I value my uninterrupted time spent offline too. Things like reading a good book can easily get pushed aside for mindless scrolling and in the end I rarely come away with anything of value. I wouldn’t even say I’m that bad for spending too much time on my phone but I still want to cut it down even more.

Sometimes it’s so easy to procrastinate when working alone from home, or at least, it is for me anyway. When ideas or thoughts just aren’t flowing the way in which I’d like them to, to enable me to work, it’s all too easy to pick up the phone and have a scroll. If anything it can leave my mind feeling more congested and out of sorts than it did to start with.

I’ve come to the realisation that I’m always going to be somewhat of a procrastinator, that’s just how I am…but rather than filling that inescapable procrastination time with nothingness, I may as well fill that time doing something that I actually enjoy and which fills me with something useful. And so, I’ve decided to fill those moments with reading. Be it a chapter from a book I’m currently reading or an interesting article or blog post. I at least want to fill my ‘idle time’ with something that gives me a little more back. So I think reading is a good replacement for that, plus it’s something I thoroughly enjoy when I get into it.

Yesterday I picked up my first book of the year – it’s one that my mother passed onto me a few months ago and I still hadn’t got around to reading. I finally started reading it and I couldn’t put it down. An hour later and a few chapters in and I was ready to get on with some work. The best thing is, unlike when I procrastinate on social media, I didn’t wind up feeling bad about the time wasted, because it didn’t feel like time wasted at all. That saying is true; ‘the time wasted doing something you love isn’t time wasted at all’. I must remember that one this year.

Samio x

January 3, 2019
A Brief Overview of My 2018

It’s 6:23am on Saturday morning.

I found myself waking up sometime before 6am and then couldn’t get back to sleep. I felt wide awake at the earliest time I have done since before the festive period began. I’m normally an early riser but over the Christmas holidays I’ve been sleeping in until 9am most days, not to mention the very hungover boxing day where I didn’t manage to wake up until midday.

Now my bodyclock seems to be springing back into action. Reverting to it’s pre-Christmas behavioural pattern…maybe due to my subconscious being more ready for the new year than I am. So I unsettled myself from my the comforts of our bed and a still slumbering Damien, and made my way downstairs. I’m now sat in my favourite spot on the sofa, feet up, wrapped in a blanket, with a piping hot brew by my side, laptop on my lap and hot water bottle to boot.

I love this time in the morning. I know, I’m the strange person who loves an early morning, but there’s something about being up whilst most people are still in bed, that I really enjoy. It’s mostly silent and the dim hum of a TV next door is the only faint sign of activity and a clue that I’m not the only person up at this time on a Saturday morning.

I can hear the irregular, yet relaxing drum of rain outside and I find myself feeling reflective.

I hadn’t planned on doing any sort of re-cap post this year. It’s not that I don’t want to look back, I mean, this really has been a great year, however, I didn’t feel I had time, nor was I particular bothered to try and squeeze it in. I have already done a private recap but that’s more of a reflection of my metacognition over the past year, as opposed to a chronological timeline of the things I’ve done.

As I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve been on full holiday mode over this festive period and so any form of blogging related activity wasn’t initially on the cards. But, isn’t it funny how, as soon as you take the pressure off, the exact thing you feel like doing is that thing that you’ve told yourself you don’t need to do.

Anyway, like I said, I’m awake at an abnormally early time for the festive period, or for a Saturday full stop I suppose, and feeling reflective, so whilst I have the time I might as well utilise it. So, without further a do and pro-longing this already very long introduction, whilst whizzing through my calendar that I have to hand, I’m going to share a brief (as possible) overview of what I’ve done this year, month by month. Here goes…

January

1. I started the new year hungover after a very fun and drunken New Year’s Eve gathering at our house.

2. The second week into January I took my second driving theory test (after having failed the first one in December) and this time, passed.

3. I went on a big walk around Dovestones one Sunday with one of my best friends, Charlotte. We declared that we were going to start a walking club and then never made it to month two.

4. I saw friends quite a lot (I had a number of coffee dates) and I went on 3 nights out (according to my diary), one of which consisted of bottomless brunch. It’s January, who am I? This year I’ll attempt to do better and consume less alcohol during the month of January.

5. I also went to a Vegan food festival, which has just reminded me about the most amazing falafel wrap I think I’ve ever had. It was by the Otto-men and it was next level!

6. Blogger related – I worked with CollectPlus, Cluse and Cath Kidston (which is a brand I’ve loved since I was a teen, so that’s a childhood dream fulfilled right there).

February

1. I saw friends, went to some launch parties, had two nights out and went for bottomless brunch again!? (This time for my Mother’s birthday – Honestly, I’m just as surprised as you are, this is the first time looking back at my diary in a year, and I have to say it’s very revealing).

2. Modelling related work – I shot a TV Commercial and did a shoot for Go Outdoors.

3. Blogger related work – I worked with Flybe (but unfortunately didn’t get to leave the country, however I did get to film a fun guide of my home town, Manchester for them). I also worked with French Connection, River Island and TK Maxx again.

4. Damien and I joined the gym after a long absence.

March

1. I started driving lessons.

2. Blogger related work – I worked with Hatch, Cult Beauty and worked with Polo Ralph Lauren andTed Baker for the first time.

3. I had gel nails done for the first time ever – sounds small but after years of nail varnish, it was life changing!

4. I spent time with Damien during a week he had off work and we also worked on the house.

5. I also had quite a few meetings and saw friends.

April

1. I shot a short film, which I acted in.

2. Blogger related work – I worked with Kahlúa, Monki and Ace & Tate, for which I filmed one of my favourite (and possibly most creative) videos this year.

3. I saw friends, went to events and had my first BBQ of the year.

May

1. I Took part in a panel with a group of actors, comedians and journalist as part of the Pilot Light film festival at HOME in Manchester. We did a reading of a Sex and The City script as all POC cast (I was Charlotte, to whom I gave a ridiculously deep Yorkshire accent, which luckily the audience found hilarious because I have no idea where it came from). The read through was followed by a panel discussion/Q&A talking about the lack of diversity in TV and film.

2. Blogger related work – I worked with Cath Kidston and Ted Baker again. I also worked with Reiss, House of Fraser, Gap and Tesco for the first time.

3. I did what would be my last ever modelling job before leaving my agencies (although at the time I didn’t know it).

4. Went for bottomless brunch again! (okay this is actually making me laugh now, I hadn’t realised how frequent my bottomless brunches were until now)

5. Damien and I hiked up Kinderscout.

June

I talk lots more about my most momentous month of the year in this post here. But to summarise:

1. It was my birthday!

2. I went to Wales for the weekend with 3 of my best friends to celebrate my birthday and we climbed Mount Snowdon (which I hadn’t done in years prior to that). It was followed by a night staying at my friend’s family cottage and drinking lots of prosecco in our PJs into the early hours. We had so much fun and it was a perfect way to spend my birthday.

3. I passed my practical driving test first time – hurrah!

4. I left my modelling agencies and officially became a full time blogger and creative.

5. Went to see the showing of the short film I’d been in earlier in the year.

6. I got box braids for the first time ever.

7. Worked with Oasis, Ted Baker & Kate Spade.

8. I went to Spain for a girl’s holiday.

9. Damien and I went to San Fransisco, followed by Portland for my friend’s wedding – for which I was maid of honour (also a first).

July

1. We returned home from our holiday to San Fran and Portland.

2. Saw friends and went to London with Onyi.

3. Worked with Adobe Lightroom, The Sports Edit, Links of London, Havaianas, CollectPlus and Ted Baker again.

4. I was a guest on Kat’s Put Yourself First Podcast.

August

1. Our friends came over to stay from Malaysia.

2. Damien and I began PT sessions.

3. Saw friends and went for Afternoon Tea for a friend’s birthday (makes a change from bottomless brunch).

4. I went to London and Liverpool for meetings and events.

5. Worked with Ted Baker and TK Maxx again.

September

1. Worked with Sweaty Betty, Abercrombie, Hush clothing, Aquis and Ted Baker.

2. I saw friends a lot, went out for friend’s and family’s birthdays. I also went for bottomless brunch!

3. I was a guest on Kat’s Put Yourself First Podcast again.

October

1. Went to see the play Future Bodies at HOME.

2. Went down to London for some events.

3. Worked with Ted Baker and CollectPlus, Ace & Tate and Cath Kidston again.

4. Went to Bruges for the weekend.

5. I went down south to The Wilderness Reserve on a blogger trip with Next.

6. Went to a wedding.

7. Saw friend’s and celebrated my friend L’Oreal’s birthday.

8. Went to Malaysia and Damien proposed!

November

1. Worked with Marriott Hotels and Ted Baker.

2. Went to watch the play The Maids at HOME.

3. Hosted a wine night at mine with the girls.

4. Spoke on a panel for the Calling All Curls event.

5. Went to Amsterdam on a girl’s trip for the weekend to celebrate two of the girl’s birthdays.

6. Went to a dinner event with Feel Unique.

December

1. Worked with French Connection and Boe gin.

2. Had a fun Christmas meal with the girls, where we exchanged secret santa gifts and followed it with a wine night in.

3. Ate approximately 12 mince pies within less than a week (true story).

4. Continued on working out but definitely eased off the routine over this past week of Christmas.

5. Had a very boozy and fun Christmas eve spent with My family.

6. Had a very boozy and fun Christmas day spent with Damien’s family.

7. Had a very hungover boxing day, spent at home, on the sofa. We watched 5 films within this period.

…and I think that is just about it, according to my calendar anyway. Of course I’ve only really skimmed the surface on this one and may have missed out some things that weren’t pre-planned, hence won’t have been written in my calender, but, all in all, it’s been a great way for me to re-cap and realise some of the fun things I’ve done and what I’ve achieved in 2018.

It’s been an exciting year but I must admit stressful at times. There have been emotional highs, and lows. But overall I feel so grateful for the opportunities, experiences and fun that 2018 has brought. I’ve worked so hard but also played hard too and got to make more amazing memories with lots of my favourite people. I’ve pushed myself creatively and created a lot of cool stuff that I’m really proud of.

I think 2018 will always be a special year for me looking back, as it’s been a momentous one for me personally, in more ways than one. There have been a lot of life changes, a lot of challenges overcome and I’ve learnt a lot about myself and the things I want to focus more on going forward.

It’s not completely over yet. We still have a few more days left until the year is out and I’m going to make the most of them. I should have one more post going out before the end of 2018, but if I don’t catch you before then, have a good end to the year and great new year’s eve whatever you get up to.

Samio x

December 30, 2018
Thoughts For The Future & Not Really Having A Clue

I wrote this post yesterday whilst in the bath and shot these self portraits today, whilst not in the bath…

I’m currently in the bathtub. I’m writing this from my phone, which is a precarious task when holding your life device (as I’ll aptly call it) only centimetres away from a deep pool of water, but what can I say, I’m a dare devil.
 
I’m wallowing. Wallowing in this deep pool of warm steamy water (ahhh relaxing), and wallowing in my thoughts. I’ve come to the realisation that I don’t actually know what I’m doing with my life. Now that’s a tad dramatic, I do know what I’m doing with my life (at the moment at least) and I have to say I’m very happy with how things are going with said life thus far, but, as today I’m feeling a tad dramatic, I’ll refer to these emotions in a dramatic way and make no apologies for it.
 
I think what I mean is that whilst everything is going in the general direction I had hoped this year, and if anything surpassed expectations (which I’m so flipping grateful for), I’m also now questioning the direction and what path I’d like it to take me on going forward. It sounds somewhat cryptic and I honestly don’t mean it to be, because there’s not actually that much to it. I just have a lot of thoughts and a lot of ideas and sometimes I struggle to process them all and determine which is of highest priority and importance in my ‘shit to get done in life’ list.

I think sometimes the things that are projected onto us from the outside can sometimes muddle up these ideas we have for ourselves and our own journeys. I’m very empathetic when it comes to people’s emotions around me, so maybe I’m susceptible to other people’s life projections too. If that makes any sense? I never find myself wanting what other people have and I’m always so grateful for what I have myself, but I feel I’m maybe still influenced by others actions more than I realise.
 
I can sometimes find myself heading in a direction and then I think to myself ‘wait, what, this isn’t where I’d initially intended on heading’. Sometimes this can be good and sometimes this can be bad.
 

I always tend to become very reflective around this time of year, as I’m sure maybe you do too. I look back and look forward. I think about my achievements, what’s brought me joy and what I’d like more or less of going into the new year.
 
It’s important to check in with ourselves. I think today I’m just having one of those deeply reflective days where I think to myself ‘what next’, and what do I really want without the ideas, thoughts or actions of others influencing me.
 
I think it has something to do with the new year being seen as a fresh chapter, as if we wake up on January 1st reborn and brand new. As we all know, it’s nothing like that…in fact, my January 1st will be the furthest from that as I’ll likely wake up hungover (I cannot deny it, I will be no fresh daisy/spring chicken). But overall the general consensus is that the new year is a time for goal setting and starting something new and so whether we abide by that or not, it can still tend to lead most of us to feel reflective of the time passed.
 
Now in my own head I’m just trying to prioritise what these ‘goals’ and next steps might be. There’s a lot I want to do but I’m not going to overwhelm myself with aiming for everything all at once – I can be a tad unrealistic like that.
 

I guess I’m sharing this for me but I’m also sharing this for you too. Whilst on the outside someone’s life can appear like they have it all figured out, I think deep down most of us are all just trying to figure out what works for ourselves, as we go along, or at least I know I am and I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes I feel I have no clue. Sometimes I feel like a super cool boss woman who has it all together but then others days I completely do not. Whilst I’m grateful for who I have, what I have, and what I’m doing in life I still have days where I’m like ‘what is going on’, but then, don’t we all?
 
If, like me, you’re feeling a bit unsure where to project your focus for the new year because you want to do all of the things (and let’s face it there aren’t enough hours in the days, so we’ve gotta break it down), or maybe you don’t actually want to do any of them…then maybe it’s time to ask yourself ‘what do I really want?’…and ‘I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!’ (Sorry, inappropriate intersecting with a Spice Girls lyric there, I just could not resist)…but in all seriousness. Check in with yourself and ask yourself the question. Focus, prioritise and hone in on what’s really important to you, away from all the noise…I think that’s what I’m going to do.

So I’ll wallow in the bath with my thoughts a little longer, but that’s my rambling brain dump for the day. Hopefully you took something from it, even if it’s just the knowledge that I managed to bash out a blog post whilst laying in the bath and didn’t drop my phone – hurrah!
 
Samio x

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December 21, 2018