Tag: Thoughts

Sometimes I don’t start things in fear of them not being good enough

Sometimes I don’t start things in fear of them not being good enough. I’d love to say that I am fearless and that nothing phases me, but if I’m truly honest with myself, I don’t think I am.

In some aspects I am that fearless person and my passion to do certain things knows no bounds. At other times though, the longing is there, however the feelings of self doubt creep in and I am therefore held back by my own insecurities. I don’t feel particularly insecure on the surface, but if a fear of not being good enough at something is holding me back from doing it, then surely I have to admit that it stems from insecurity.

I think it comes down to knowing our strengths, or at least thinking we know them and getting into a habit of focusing on what we know and have been proven to be good at. A pastry chef may be confident in their ability to make the most amazing Profiteroles, but then ask them to say, make fresh pasta and they may feel unsure of their capability to do it to the standard which they have perfected with the profiteroles – and so may be reluctant to even try. This is a somewhat random example and there may be a pastry chef who reads this and is thinking ‘actually I can make wicked fresh pasta for your information!’. But my point is, stepping out of our comfort zone, even if only slightly, can often be more daunting than we give it credit. And so we find ourselves saying things we’d like to do, knowing full well that they are not entirely unachievable, however we never get round to doing them, due to something deep down holding us back. It’s that hidden insecurity, which we often bury with the age old excuses of not having enough time, or the right tools or enough money and so on.

When I think of all the things I started when I had no clue and very little resources but went ahead and did anyway; I think of how different things would have been if I had maybe never been brave enough to give them a go. My blog for one is probably one of my biggest examples. When I started my blog I didn’t even read them, I just had a passion to create and share and so that’s what I did. Of course I look back at some old posts and laugh to myself at their pointlessness, my questionable outfits and my writing (or lack of)…but if I hadn’t started, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Now I couldn’t imagine not having this little space on the internet and it still amazes me that it evolved into part of my job…but what if I’d never started. What if that self doubt had crept in, what if I’d had that overwhelming fear of not being good enough and I hadn’t just gone ahead and published my first post and continued to share regardless. Who knows, maybe I would have found something else that I was equally passionate about to focus on, maybe I wouldn’t. All I do know however, is that in starting I have no regrets and in fact I feel thankful to my past self for being fearless enough to just start something new.

Even when I look back at the things I tried and failed at, I never look back with regret, as each thing has taught me a lesson or two along the way, if not only given me some very funny stories, some of which I’ll maybe have to recount to you in future posts.

I guess it all comes down to the push. I’ll explain what I mean by that in a second, but first I want to say how it’s funny that I’d written the start of this blog post a couple of weeks ago and it had sat on my desktop, unfinished since then. Over the weekend though, I spent a lot of time chatting with some of my fellow creative friends and a lot of what we discussed actually focused on the topics in this post. I guess that’s what inspired me to pick things back up and finish this post today.

Basically, when chatting to a friend, I’d used an elaborate metaphor to describe a situation of trying something new and quickly transitioning from one period to another. I said how the thing we want to do but maybe feel too afraid to try is like diving into a swimming pool from a high up diving board; you find yourself standing on the diving board and looking down at the deep blue pool below. It looks appealing, inviting even, but you are so far away from it, it looks too scary to just dive right in.

And so you wait, stood on the diving board (in your safe space if you like) looking into the deep blue water below, wondering and imagining what it would be like but not feeling quite brave enough, or feeling like it’s not quite the right timing to just dive right in…until eventually, (if you’re lucky), you get the push. Either through forces outside of your control, or through your own urges to get on with it, you jump.

Then you find yourself falling and plummeting into the freezing cold water. It’s different, it’s outside of your safe space and it can even be a shock to the system. But then you pull yourself to the surface and catch your breath. You realise that you did it, in fact, you’re doing it right now. It still feels different but you dived right in and now you’re finally doing the thing that you’ve been wanting to do for the longest time.

It’s not necessarily easy, but you have two choices, you either stick in this pool and keep swimming, or you get out. The longer that you’re in the water though, the more you find yourself getting used to it and soon you start to swim, you even start to enjoy and become good at it and eventually you look back and think, I’m glad I dived in.

Like I said, that was my very elaborate (and somewhat long winded) metaphor, but it’s the best way I can describe the process and it pretty much sums up some of my own experiences. There have been times where I have got out of the pool (metaphorically speaking) after having dived into certain situations. It’s important to know that not every experience will wind up being for you, and that’s completely okay…but then if you never try you’ll never know. So what’s it going to be, stay firmly planted on the board, or dive right in?

Samio x

The photos in this post were shot by myself. I have a series called #SamiosSelfPortraits which you can see more of here.

Shop The Look

[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3464161″]

February 4, 2019
January Hues

Oh, it’s still January. And there was me thinking it should surely be February already. I’m not wishing time away or anything but I have to agree with the many observations I’ve seen expressed on Twitter, that this does feel like an awfully slow month. No wait, I shouldn’t say ‘awful’, there’s nothing particularly awful about it for me personally (as long as you exclude the weather and well, Brexit – let’s not even go there)…but aside from all the gloomy stuff that we’d rather bury our heads in the sand about, over here and on a personal level, things are going pretty okay. I’m taking things slow, as I mentioned in my previous post and with it, time seems to be moving a lot slower too. I have to say this is something that I’m actually pretty pleased about. I didn’t think it was possible to really take control of your time in such a way but it seems that by taking certain pressures off your plate, it allows you more time to breathe and simply think. Usually I feel a constant rush of catching up, but over these past few weeks I’ve been moving at a sloth like pace, making my way from one task to the other and taking my time as I do so.

It’s unlikely things will remain like this, we are only at the start of the year after all, but for the moment I’m thankful for the seemingly abundant time. There are lots of things I need to sort out, plan and do…but like I’ve said previously, I’m in no rush to do them all at once. The ‘one thing at a time’ approach definitely works best for me.

So far this year I’ve been making a concious effort to tick some things off the list that I’ve been wanting to set in motion for ages. I’m first focusing on those little things that are often pushed aside in favour for the bigger or more urgent things, but that you know are always there, niggling. It feels good to be be paying attention to the smaller things that are seemingly less important, but will inevitably be one less distraction or thing to worry about in the long run.

Anyway, I’m back to capturing self portraits, as you’ll see from this post and the one before. Aside from a few campaigns that I’ve shot with the help from Damien, I’ve not been in front of the camera much so far this year. I think this time last year I was on a roll with shooting but as I’m going at a much slower pace this year, I’m taking things easy. I did have a burst of inspiration the other afternoon though when I decided to shoot these shots. Currently the spare bedroom/soon to be office room is waiting to undergo a transformation, but in the meantime it’s providing a great space for shooting in whislt making the most of the natural light.

Samio x

#SamiosSelfPortraits

Shop The Look

[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3449958″]

January 23, 2019
A New Year, A New Pace

It’s two and half weeks (and a bit) into the year already and I’ll start by saying overall, so far, so good. I kicked off my year (as usual) feeling incredibly hungover but with little regret, as we’d once again achieved the success of an epic new year’s eve party, with lots of our close friends round at ours to celebrate.

Due to these spirited (in more ways than one) New Year’s Eve celebrations, I tend to officially start my new year on the second day of January, when my brain is no longer rattling in its scull, we’ve swept up any lingering glitter and any traces of Christmas have been tidied away.

This year however, my body had another idea and I woke up on the second of January with a cold, or as I’ll refer to it, my very own bout of severe level Man flu. It was annoying, to say the least and I must admit that by week two I was feeling a tad stir crazy, which led me to feeling quite sorry for myself – poor Damien bore the brunt of it each day when he’d return home from work and I’d be vying for attention like a puppy who’d been left alone at home all day.

In the grand scheme of things it’s not the worse thing that could happen and a cold is just a fleeing setback that most of us have to deal with around this time of year. Plus, whilst being sofa residing for the most part of two weeks, I did in fact still manage to get some work done. I even managed to drag myself away from my snotty tissue ridden hovel that I’d nested myself into on the sofa, put on some makeup and shoot some collaborations in time for their deadlines – go me!

So as I said, cold aside, not a bad start to the year. Now I’m 3 days post cold and feeling enthusiastic to officially get into my year properly.

I always tend to have my positive and optimistic head on around this time of year. I think a lot of us are still feeling driven and that motivation can be quite infectious at times. However, as we move towards the end of the month, I do find there is a tendency for things to all slowly go downhill from there. The January blues creep in and the reality that we’ve not even reach the coldest and gloomiest part of winter hits. It’s like the glum slog between Christmas and Spring that feels never ending. Between that and the emphasis on ‘keeping up with those goals’, there can be an overwhelming pressure to be living our best lives, when all we really want to do is go into hibernate until it’s summer.

I feel different this year though, still eager for summer yes, but just a lot less pressured. Even whilst snivelling my way through the first two weeks of this year, I was still feeling (albeit a little tired) content and calm mentally.

I think the main thing that’s helped my mindset has been my shift in focus this year. I already spoke in my last post about ‘things I’d like to do more of in 2019’, and wanting to have more me time was a big overriding theme there. I’ve been abiding by my own ‘rules’ and allowing myself to switch off, guilt free. I’ve got lost in the pages of a good book, wrote for the sake of writing and switched off from social media. It’s really done me the world of good. It’s also shown me that things don’t all just crumble when I stop. Just because the whole world feels like it’s going at 110mph, it doesn’t mean I have to.

We’re still only two weeks into this year, yes, but so far I’m finding a nice balance between work, me time and socialising (more emphasis can go on the socialising now that I’m lurgy free). I’ve started as I mean to go on, set things in motion that will help me in the long run, started to form new habits that are allowing me to relax and given myself the permission to go at my own pace, which is a lot slower than previously.

Samio x

#SamiosSelfPortraits

Shop The Look

[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3442708″]

January 17, 2019
Things I’d Like To Do More Of In 2019

Create Art

When I was younger (I’m talking pre-teens), my hobby was always focused on or around art. It sounds somewhat vague but if you would have asked me what my hobby was when I was younger (aside from singing and writing *cough* masterpiece, stage plays for myself and my friends to perform), I would have answered with ‘art’…Creating art, doing arty things and basically taking a huge leaf out of Neil Buchanan’s book and making art, out of basically anything I could get my hands on, was my thing. And I mean, anything. I went as far as ‘collecting’ the insides of toilet rolls, which I’m pretty sure drove my Mother mad at the time. But I never knew when my next creative project would require such unique and versatile props, and let me tell you, the middle of a toilet roll came in handy for a number of my ever dynamic projects.

Moving into my teens I thankfully abandoned the hoarding of loo roll middles. Long gone were my days of creating ‘art’ out of random bits of cardboard, which had been stuck together with PVA glue and professionally finished off with a bullet proof coating of Papier-mâché…but my love for creating did not subside. If anything it grew and with it so did my passion for drawing and painting.

I’m going to boastfully toot my own horn here, and proclaim that I was very good at art growing up (if I do say so myself – but so did my art teacher *toot, toot*). I loved to consume art and I loved to create it. I even used to have a boy in high school pay me to do his art homework because he wasn’t very good at it and, well, I was…but we won’t get too much into that adolescent fraudulent activity in today’s post.

Basically much of my life growing up revolved around being arty and in particular drawing and painting. This lasted right up until my university years…and then, I stopped. I’m not entirely sure why. I guess it’s that age old thing (excuse the pun), of getting older and ‘no longer having time’.

Then into my 20’s my hobby and outlet for being creative evolved into my blog, which then evolved into my job…and then I wound up here, in my late 20’s and hobby-less.

I think it’s important to have hobbies and to be able to tune out to something that isn’t just work related all of the time. Whilst I love my work, I also love having something else outside of it, or else work can become too all consuming without me even realising it. So in a round up to this rather long winded summery, I basically want to get back to creating more tangible art. The stuff that’s non-work related, on paper, or canvas, and maybe even something I can hang on my wall if I fancy. We shall see.

Do More of My Other Hobby

Okay, I tell a lie. I do have hobbies, which I do still practice, I just don’t think I spend enough time on them as I should do.

Another one of my hobbies, which I wish to spend more time on, is acting. I actually got back into it for the first time in a loooonng time, this year. I did two short films this year and I have to admit, I was very rusty getting back into the swing of things. But, it didn’t matter, because ultimately I had fun, and that for me is what it’s all about.

I spoke about ‘things I maybe could have been but wasn’t’ in a previous post a few months back, and an actress, was one of the things I’d mentioned. Acting has always been a passion of mine, which I went as far as to study at university. And whilst I don’t pursue acting as a career, it’s still something I haven’t lost my love for. It’s almost a passion I forget I have until I exercise it and then my love for it comes flooding back. For me it’s such a great escape from the real world, when I’m learning a script, developing a character and then performing. I really do enjoy it and after having got back into it a bit this past year, it’s definitely something I want to do more of, purely for the enjoyment of it.

Drive

Now this next one is not a hobby, in fact, I’ll go as far as to say, it’s not something I particularly enjoy. I don’t hate driving but I wouldn’t say it’s something I’ve ever been excited to do and I certainly don’t have ‘fun’ doing it. Quick back story, for those of you who don’t know, I passed my driving test back in June . After having put off having driving lessons for years and years…and years, I finally decided to bite the bullet back in March and learn to drive. I surprised myself and actually flew through my lessons, and then surprised myself even more when I passed first time. It’s just another example that it’s never too late to learn something new, (even if it’s something you’re not that interested in). Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely glad I learnt to drive but I still don’t have that eagerness or excitement to get in a car and actually drive anywhere.

I’ve neglected my (no longer so) newly learnt skill and I’m still not confident enough to drive on the roads without someone in the passenger seat (preferably Damien – although I’m pretty sure I make him nervous).

The hard part is over. I passed the test. I have the little pink ID and all that, I just need to get off my butt, or actually get on my butt more, and off my feet, and get on the roads! So this year, I need to get back to practicing and building up my confidence driving. I know it will benefit me in the long run and then I won’t have to always rely on Damien to drive us when we need to do a big shop and I’ll be able to go homeware shopping whenever I like too. An excellent benefit.

Write

Well, here I am, writing. Technically, my self proclaimed mish-mash of a job title that is ‘blogger/creative’, implies that I spend the majority of my time writing and whilst in some ways I do (emails are the bane of my life), I actually don’t, in the way in which I’d like…

Blogs are making a comeback. There, I said it. How do I know? Because I said so! Okay, I don’t know, but even if they’re not, I know I want to write more, and my blog is the perfect place for me to do just that. I know this comes back to my job, but I also want to continue to write more of the personal, more diary style posts (like this one) too. Hence me writing right now, because if you hadn’t noticed, this little corner of the internet has been getting a bit more action than usual recently and I have to say, I’m pretty happy about it.

Along with my 100 other, partially abandoned creative related hobbies that need dusting off, writing (surprise, surprise) is also one of them. So to bring it back to my initial point, I’ll be doing more writing here and offline going forward this year.

Exercise

Now before this sounds like a cliche ‘new year, new me’ segment, it’s actually more a case of ‘new year, more of last year me’. Okay that sounded rubbish, but maybe you get my point. I’ve mentioned a few times on the blog about how Damien and I started PT sessions back in August, and if you follow me on Instagram and watch my Instastories then you’ll definitely know that we have since become avid bootcamp/gym goers over the past several months.

I’d go as far as to say it’s actually changed our lives, the whole, getting into fitness thing. It’s been a small, yet at the same time big life change and we’ve just added a new element into our routines that includes working out. Having the PT was just the push we needed to get us into the swing of things and I couldn’t recommend JAG fitness enough who have helped Damien and I so much. For someone who has a job which at times can have no real-routine when it comes to work, it’s actually nice having the routine of working out. For me it helps me mentally as much as it does physically, if not more. It serves as a great time out for me and when I start my morning with a workout I feel like my day is off to a good start.

Read

And if I didn’t already have enough things I wanted to do more of, here is one more. Read. I want to read more books and even more blogs too. I used to love doing a lot of both but in the past year or so I’ve done very little of either.

I feel myself wanting to revert back to my old ways and slow things down a little. It’s often hard, with social media and the online world, as everything is quick and in your face. As it’s a big part of my job, I often feel obliged to constantly been involved in the online world and it’s hard to digest everything, and if I’m honest I can find it quite overwhelming.

Switching off from social media over the festive period has made me realise how much I value my uninterrupted time spent offline too. Things like reading a good book can easily get pushed aside for mindless scrolling and in the end I rarely come away with anything of value. I wouldn’t even say I’m that bad for spending too much time on my phone but I still want to cut it down even more.

Sometimes it’s so easy to procrastinate when working alone from home, or at least, it is for me anyway. When ideas or thoughts just aren’t flowing the way in which I’d like them to, to enable me to work, it’s all too easy to pick up the phone and have a scroll. If anything it can leave my mind feeling more congested and out of sorts than it did to start with.

I’ve come to the realisation that I’m always going to be somewhat of a procrastinator, that’s just how I am…but rather than filling that inescapable procrastination time with nothingness, I may as well fill that time doing something that I actually enjoy and which fills me with something useful. And so, I’ve decided to fill those moments with reading. Be it a chapter from a book I’m currently reading or an interesting article or blog post. I at least want to fill my ‘idle time’ with something that gives me a little more back. So I think reading is a good replacement for that, plus it’s something I thoroughly enjoy when I get into it.

Yesterday I picked up my first book of the year – it’s one that my mother passed onto me a few months ago and I still hadn’t got around to reading. I finally started reading it and I couldn’t put it down. An hour later and a few chapters in and I was ready to get on with some work. The best thing is, unlike when I procrastinate on social media, I didn’t wind up feeling bad about the time wasted, because it didn’t feel like time wasted at all. That saying is true; ‘the time wasted doing something you love isn’t time wasted at all’. I must remember that one this year.

Samio x

January 3, 2019
Realising The Power In Saying No

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and whilst waiting to take some fitting images to go alongside it, I decided to pull out these images from a trip I took at the start of October to the Wilderness Reserve. So bare with me whilst I play catch up on the blog images but I liked these ones too much to not share. Onyi and I snapped these before dinner on the evening of our trip and they actually look rather festive, so quite fitting for now…anyway, in this post I just wanted to have a chat and share some recent thoughts and feelings…

I’ve been getting better at saying ‘no’ a lot more recently. In some aspects of my life I’ve often been quite good at saying no but then in other areas of life, I’ve been all too keen to be the yes man (or should I say woman).

For example, with my work I’ve always wanted it to be something I enjoy and so I have no qualms about saying no to things that maybe pay well but aren’t right for me. I understand this is a luxury to be able to say no to things but at the same time it’s something that I think is so important when working for yourself in the way that I do, where people are basically putting trust in your opinions.

I can be quite stubborn and if something I’m being asked to do for a job doesn’t feel right I’ll always dispute it, and if I’m being asked to work on something that isn’t the right fit, I’m never afraid to say no. I always know it will be worth the wait to work on something else that does fit right, which in turn I’ll enjoy a lot more and put my all into in return…On the other hand, when the types of things that are the right fit and I am keen to work on, come along all at once, I find myself all too easily saying ‘yes’ to everything. Before I know it I’m feeling as though I’ve bitten off a little more than I can chew trying to juggle it all as my own little one man band.

The same goes for social engagements. I’ve spoken before about how much I love spending time with friends and loved ones, so I am very social in that sense. If it’s an event with strangers then I’ll easily say no if I’m not in the right mood but if it’s a gathering with good friends I’ll mostly always say yes and make time for those important to me. Before I know it I have a full social calendar and if the work is busy too, then I’m back to back, burning the candle at both ends.

This is something that I find happens with me every now and then. It always seems to creep up on me without me even realising that I’ve taken on too much until it’s too late. When collaborations that are the right fit come along, it can be hard to say no, even if I am already really busy. Then when friends want to see me in between, in fear of being a let down, I continue to say ‘yes’. Before I know it I can find myself struggling to juggle it all, leaving little time for myself to well, just have to myself.

This happened again quite recently. I was saying ‘yes’ all too often and ‘no’ hardly enough.
I think my subconscious snapped before I actually did. As usually when I have too much on my plate I don’t actually realise that’s the problem and so my stress can manifest itself in other ways. I’ve never really been an anxious person in the past but these past months I felt anxiety creep up on me and finally I realised something had to give. So, after what I’ll just describe as a ‘stressful period’, I learnt to start saying ‘no’ more.

It sounds so simple. One little, two letter word, ‘No’. But each time I turned down meeting a friend for a coffee, or planning a much needed catch up, I’d feel so much guilt creeping up on me. I didn’t want to be a bad friend. And as someone who mostly works from home with a ‘flexible’ schedule I’d feel the need to over explain myself when I would say no to something. What I had to remind myself is that it’s actually okay to have time for yourself. Time to breathe. Time to not do work, not see friends, and be alone, and if you like, do nothing.

The same goes for work. Like I said, I’ve always been okay with saying no to the things that don’t feel right but to the things that do, well that one has always been a little trickier. Feeling overwhelmed and stressed to breaking point was (although awful to experience) the sign I needed to just slow things right down. It’s also made me re-assess and re-prioritise what things are really important to me in all aspects of my life.

Although saying no to certain things was hard at first, the more I got used to it, the more I felt myself regaining control and the less overwhelmed I felt. It’s not about saying no to everything but just saying no to more things. Allowing more time for myself is something I’ve realised is so important.

Saying no to work more and learning to become okay with it has been quite a freeing experience. Sometimes I forget that I’m self employed and it’s only myself cracking my own whip. I can choose to take on as much or as little work as I like. You have to define your own success/balance/happiness. I’ve realised I can’t do all of the things, all of the time and whilst being what you’d maybe describe as a driven extrovert, I still need time to be alone, recharge, and well, rest.

Saying yes to things is so celebrated but hardly anyone talks about what happens when you say yes too much. I’m adventurous, I get FOMO too easily, I love my work and I’m very social, so being a yes person comes naturally to me, but I tend to go too much in one direction and not enough in the other. I found myself turning up too much for everything and everyone else and not enough for myself. But alone time/doing nothing time is very important and I’ve realised that actually I don’t thrive off of being non-stop, back to back busy.

These past few weeks I’ve felt myself re-balancing. I feel a lot calmer. I’ve seen friends but then booked out time for myself too. I’ve said yes to work that I’ve been excited about but then turned down work and other opportunities that I know I don’t have time for. I’ve regained the power in saying no and I’m feeling a lot more balanced and happier for it.

Samio x

Shop The Look

[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3413347″]

December 19, 2018
Life Currently

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I can finally see it…okay, in terms of what I’m actually referring to that phrase is a tad dramatic, but I simply feel like I’m beginning to emerge from the other side of a very long stagnant period.

I mentioned in a vlog recently how I’ve not been feeling very ‘on it’ creatively (so to speak) and in real life amongst friends, I’ve mentioned not feeling very ‘me’ right now. I have been struggling to create, or at least create the way in which I’d like.

Looking back now, it’s clearly been a case of writer’s block of the creative variety. A period of time where you just can’t get the shot, any editing process is surprisingly tedious, and coming up with new and exciting creative ideas just isn’t quite happening…It doesn’t sound that bad, but when it’s your job, each day can feel like a drag and every process greatly frustrating. Blame it on mercury being in retrograde, or whatever you wish, but I’m glad to say, I’m finally feeling a shift and I’m getting back to my normal self.

FEELING CREATIVE

It’s funny, out of periods of stagnant activity, I often emerge feeling my most creative and productive self. Last week was a good example of this and I actually created and filmed one of my favourite fashion videos in some time.

If you’ve watched my style videos, you’ll know I like to get creative when putting together lookbooks and the like. For me, the editing process is just as much fun as the filming (if not more). I had an idea to film something ‘documentary style’, with the focus being on my personal style, and so I created a short video about my Summer Style. I filmed the majority of it myself, and after editing it I felt happy to have produced something I really felt, well, happy about. So yes, I’ve got my creative video mojo back, and you can watch the one I’m on about here.

Shop the palm print dress here.

FITNESS

I mentioned in a recent post about wanting to get healthy, like actual healthy this time, like not eating Dominions, followed by Mc Donald’s, followed by chippy all in the space of three days, healthy. Yes, I was that bad!

See the thing is with me, I have (had) what you might call and extremely balanced diet, and by that I mean one part of the week would be filled with fresh veg, home cooked meals and lots of good stuff, whilst the other end is filled with takeout pizza, meals out (and I never order the healthy options)…and wine, lots and lots of wine. It’s never bothered me too much and I’m one of those annoying people who has what they call a fast metabolism, however, I do love the feeling of being fit, and well, I’ve missed it.

I’m like a broken record and constantly say I want to get fit/healthy again, and then another takeaway later, I’m back to square one. I’ve been feeling in the need of some guidance for quite some time. Although I know I shouldn’t eat my bodyweight in fatty foods and alcohol over the weekend, I still do and maybe the fact that it doesn’t show too much is part of my problem.

I haven’t felt my most energised and fittest self over the past several months and the straw the broke the camel’s back was getting a cold in the middle of the heatwave (cause let’s face it, that’s ridiculous). To me that was a clear sign that my body was telling me to take it easy and to more importantly, take better care of myself.

So basically, I’ve decided it’s time to make a change and I couldn’t believe my luck when a PT got in touch wanting to work together. Yesterday Damien and I had our second session with our PT Jamal, and whilst it’s definitely pushing me to my limits, it feels so good to finally have the guidance and actual training we want/need.

GETTING CHATTY

As you probably already guessed from my lengthy blog posts, I’m quite a chatter. I love a good natter and once you get me started, it’s hard to shut me up.

Recently I’ve been doing a lot of chatting, more so than usual. I began (accidentally) weekly vlogging, and although initially the idea terrified me, I’m now finding it the most cathartic process and one that I’m slightly addicted too. I feel I’m documenting my journey as a blogger/creative and sharing my thoughts in the most natural way through vlogging.

Whilst I love the sleek and polished fashion videos that I like to create, it’s nice to be able to do the complete opposite when vlogging and show the very real side of life and the bits that go on behind the scenes. At the same time, whilst once being terrified by filming parts of my life and putting it on the internet for anyone to see, I’ve now learnt that I only need to share what I decide to, so it hasn’t yet become too imposing on my life. For example, I rarely vlog my weekends, or when I’m with friends who I know don’t feel comfortable in font of a camera. I mostly focus on my working life at home and it’s become a bit of a thought diary, so my vlogs are basically lots of chats from me, which surprisingly enough, some people seem to be enjoying. So as long as I enjoy the process too, I’m going to keep at it.

In other forms of chatting, I recently featured on a podcast for the first time. Kat invited me to chat on her wonderful podcast called Put Yourself First. I do love a good podcast, especially when I’m sat editing photos, or tidying up. Kat interviews lots of amazing and interesting women, so I feel pleased that she asked me to speak on there, and oh boy did we have a good natter. I’m yet to listen to it back myself because, well, I hear enough of my own voice, but Kat asks some great questions and so hopefully people will enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed listening to some of her other guests on her podcast. You can give the episode a listen here.

FOLLOWING PASSIONS

The final point I wanted to chat about was following your passions. I think this is a topic I’ll likely go into more detail on in a separate blog post, but for now, I’ll keep it brief. Long story short, recently, as I mentioned, I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts. I think part of it was to do with being torn between creating what I want to create and creating what I feel I’m expected to create, as a ‘blogger’, shall we say. Not only that but I have many other passions outside of blogging (some which weave in and out of it too) and I need to not forget to put focus on those things too.

Sometimes it’s easy to get so caught up in the numbers, what you think brands want and what everyone else is doing. Whilst I’m often quite good at doing what feels right for me and not paying too much attention to the rest, I do have moments where I slip into feelings of self doubt and find myself feeling the pressure of conforming to what I feel is expected.

It’s funny, because as a creative (as I’ve mentioned on many occasions) there is no correct way to do anything. Literally, anything goes and can work if you do it with enough passion. I’ve just had to remind myself about the things that I love and enjoy most.

I’m also taking on other projects outside of blogging. Again, working on other passions and doing things purely for me. Sometimes you just have to do what makes you happy and do the things that feel right to you.

Samio x

August 15, 2018
TMI – Too Much Inspo

If there’s one thing I struggle with more than a lack of inspiration, it’s ironically, too much inspiration. It sounds silly but since returning from my trips to Spain and then America, my mind has been a buzz with ideas. So much so that it’s been hard to know where to start. I’ve been back home for exactly two weeks now, yet I only just feel like I’m getting back to normality (whatever that is).

I guess for me, my normality is having a daily routine of creating content, working to my schedules/deadlines, and replying to emails from brands etc. I’m usually quite good at keeping self motivated. Since working on my self portrait project since late last year, that has been something that has kept me thinking up new ideas and pushed myself to try and capture something creative almost everyday.

Recently however, I appear to have hit a stumbling block. It’s that old chestnut of feeling like everything you’re taking in is starting to look the same and in turn you feel like your own work is following suit.

One of the reasons I started my self portrait project was in order to improve my photography and editing skills and push myself to be more creative when I don’t have Damien at my disposal to help me get the shots…I’ve never really stuck to one set photography style, or way of editing, as for me it’s all been about learning and developing new skills. More recently however I’ve felt myself falling into a trap of feeling like I need to do things a certain way as a blogger and I know it’s an idea I need to quickly get out of my head.

I sometimes wish I could have a social media detox (as they call it) and start again. It’s so hard to escape the echo chambers that we’ve created for ourselves. We are often being fed the same type of images/information that we have once expressed we have interest in and so now the algorithms love to show us even more of the same type of stuff. This happens so much so, that you can have a skewed idea of what’s popular, or how things are ‘meant’ to be. If you’re being inspired by lots of the same type of inspiration, then how are you ever going to really create something that’s uniquely you.

These are some thoughts that I have been toying with and aside from doing a Kanye on the gram (and unfollowing everyone), I’m not sure what we can really do about it. But then I guess even Kanye ended up in his own echo chamber of just himself. So there we go…it’s a little food for thought I guess.

Samio x

Espadrilles – Castañer | Jeans – Find | Vest – Meraki

Images shot by Damien, directed and edited by me.

July 19, 2018
Why I’m Ditching The Notion That First Impressions Are Everything

When I think back to the first encounters with some of my favourite people, it’s safe to say we hit it off right away. Damien and I met in a club and went on our first date the very next day, my friend L’Oréal and I met at an event and basically declared our friendship within a matter of hours and I knew on my first day of college when my friend Dawn came over to introduce herself with a big friendly smile on her face, that we were instantly going to be good friends.

First impressions do mean a lot, and those have been some of my most lasting ones, but when I really think about it, not all of my most important relationships began in such a way.

Dress – & Other Stories | Shoes – Next | Bag – Diane Von Furstenberg

I used to be very much of the notion that first impressions meant everything and if you didn’t hit it off right away or get a clear vibe from a person, then it was likely a sign that it wasn’t meant to be. I can easily dismiss possible friendships if I don’t feel that there is that initial spark right away. However something I’ve learnt over time is that a lot of relationships can actually take a while to get going and not everyone finds it easy to be their true self from the get go when interacting with someone completely new.

I think I’ve realised this in myself too. I always attempt to make a good first impression but on many occasions I think I can actually end up coming across as quite overly enthusiastic, which I realise can be quite overwhelming for someone who is maybe not as naturally bubbly. What was initially supposed to be a friendly introduction can end up coming across as quite overbearing. Then on other occasions I can be the complete opposite. I’d never exactly describe myself as a shy person but sometimes in certain situations (especially at events and things), if nobody has made any introductions and I feel like everyone else knows each other, I can become quite quiet, or at least just stick to who I know. I think this is due to past experiences where I’ve been my usual happy overly-talkative self with new people and it’s not always been received too well because maybe people think I’m being too overfamiliar, when that’s really not my intention.

This mix of experiences with trying to make good first impressions on my part has made me realise that it’s not always easy to get your true self across in the first meeting. If I occasionally struggle as someone who is quite confident, then I can only imagine what it must be like for someone who is shy. And this is exactly why it’s good to remember that first impressions actually aren’t everything. Whilst yes, it’s important to try and come across as friendly when meeting someone new, I really don’t think that first impression should be the be all and end all. Not everyone is good in social situations and this can be detrimental when it comes to forming new relationships.

Sometimes people who come across as antisocial are just socially awkward and those who come across as rude are just plain shy. Some of my closest friends are actually both (socially awkward and shy I mean, not antisocial and rude haha)…but I wouldn’t have got to know that if I’d only taken their first impressions and not got to know them further. Not everyone has the skill of being instantly charming and just because someone doesn’t come across the best from your first encounter with them, it doesn’t mean they are not actually a nice person.

I was reminded of this a while ago. I bumped into someone who I’d initially not had good vibes from and needless to say, in our initial meeting, we hadn’t hit it off. I surprised myself though on this occasion as I actually found myself really liking the person and getting on with them, a lot! What was it about that first encounter that had gone so wrong, I wasn’t sure and I don’t think they were aware of it either. It was definitely a reminder that not only should you not judge a book by its cover but that you shouldn’t just judge it from the first few pages either. It’s always a good idea to read on to find out the real story.

Samio x

June 5, 2018
5 Things

I have something a little bit different for today’s post and instead of going with my usual outfit post vibe, I thought I’d share five things: completely random, off the top of my head ramblings. So if you enjoy a chatty post, then here are five (rather random) things…

1.

I’ve had a real urge lately to pick up the guitar. I don’t know if this is a longing for a new hobby outside of blogging (which is technically no longer just a hobby), a desire to challenge myself, or just a deep down longing to put some attention back into my love for music and performing…I’m not sure, maybe it’s a combination of all three but either way it’s been something that’s been niggling in the back of my mind for a little while now.

There’s a dark green acoustic guitar (don’t ask me the name or model, I know nothing about guitars) that Damien has had since long before we met. It’s been long ago left behind at his parent’s house but I’ve always thought it to be quite beautiful and now coincidently also quite fitting with our living room interior. I think this could be just the tool I need to pick up my potential new hobby.

2.

I had a guitar of my own once…Yes I did. It wasn’t beautiful like Damien’s guitar but it was a guitar non the less. I think my folks bought it for me as a Birthday or Christmas gift sometime before my first year of University. Maybe I’d mentioned wanting to pick up guitar before, I don’t know.

Anyway, after initially being excited by the gift, the guitar later sat in its case for a good six months or so collecting dust in the corner of my university room before I one day decided to get it out again, only to realise it had broke. You see, where it had been propped up in the corner of my room, it would always slide down the wall and fall on the floor. On one of these occasions the top must have snapped off and I hadn’t even noticed. I took the guitar to the woodwork department and they glued it back on for me. That guitar was later used as a prop in many ‘photoshoots’ between my friends and I, where we would play around with a DSLR camera that we had no idea how to use.

3

The guy who took me to go and fix my guitar actually used to live in my room in university halls. Not at the same time as me, that would have been weird. He was actually a second year student and we’d got chatting in a university Facebook group before I started there…anyway, long story short, it turned out that I was moving into the room that he’d lived in the year previous. We remained friends during our time at university.

4.

Another person I met at university was my BFF, Chan. On my first day moving into my halls of residence, after my folks had said their farewells and left, I left my room and went and knocked on the doors of my new flat mates to say hello and introduce myself. When I knocked on Chan’s door she was crying and insisted she didn’t want to come out. I guess in that moment my initial thought may have been that we would be very different people but it turned out that we couldn’t have been more similar and it didn’t take long for a fabulous friendship to form.

5.

I’ve been valuing my friendships more than ever recently. I try to never take things/or people in my life for granted but I think it’s always good to remind yourself of those who are truly important in your life and to make a concious effort to make time for them, especially when it’s reciprocated. Chan and I don’t get to see each other half as much as we’d like to, we are both very busy women living miles apart but when we get on the phone for a catch up it’s like no time has passed at all and we easily spend hours chatting away. Another of my close friends (whom I’m excited to be maid of honour for next year) has just moved to the US and whilst we previously already lived miles apart, with her being from London, it’s crazy to think that she’s now half way across the globe. So I think, when you’ve got the chance, spend as much time with your favourite people as you can and for those who may be many miles away just remember to drop each other a message or pick up the phone.

Fin

So there you have it, five (very random) things. A little outpour of my subconscious, from guitars, to uni days, to friendships. I rather enjoyed writing this post and it even took me on a bit of a trip down memory lane, remembering things that I thought I’d forgot (if that’s even possible). If you made it all the way through my ramblings then good on you and feel free to let me know what you think in the comment section below. I’d also LOVE to hear one random thought from you, it could be related to this post, it could not, heck feel free to even share a few random things if you’d like. We’re all friends here and I love a good read and a chat about what’s in the old noggin’ (that’s head by the way). Ciao for now!

Samio x

What I’m wearing

Shoes – River island | Skirt – Topshop | Cami – River Island | Bag – Pinko

Shop The Look

<br />

July 31, 2017
Trust the Timing of Your Life

Photography by STVP

This is just a little post to say that it’s okay do things slowly, to take your time or to even at times feel like you’re not moving anywhere at all. It’s natural, we all have these periods, some longer than others and these each can take place at different times in our lives entirely.

With the internet these days it’s easier than ever to promote yourself, start your own business, create your own content, reach out to your dream employer, or whatever it is you want to do in life in terms of the growth of your potential career and dreams. However with that, it also becomes increasingly accessible to see what other people are doing too.

You might live in a cosy little village in a secluded part of Scotland but with a few taps on your phone you’re able to see what Emma is doing on her travels around Bali, how Jason in London just bought a second flashy new car with his latest bonus, or how Julia in L.A has just got engaged to Mr Right and is celebrating the start of her new clothing label. Okay, those are really poor examples of fictional people but what I’m trying to say, is how we can easily see what’s going on with everyone else and use it as an example for how we should be doing in our own lives…But, everyone’s timings in life are different, as well as each of our journeys.

One person might have their dream job by 25 but might be unable to find work at 30, whereas someone else might get their dream job by 40 and stay in employment until their retirement. Life happens very differently to us all and there are so many different examples like this, relating to all aspects of life, be it with work, love, relationships or goals.

There are no time limits on achieving goals or getting where we want to be, only the ones that we create for ourselves. Just because you aren’t where you hoped or want to be right now doesn’t mean you won’t be in five, ten, or fifteen years, or you may even end up somewhere completely different than you’d ever imagined but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We change as we grow and so does life around us.

Everything happens differently for different people at different stages of their lives. It’s important to focus on your own passions, goals, interested, love life and relationships and don’t take anyone else’s successes, growth or current situation as an example of what you should be doing, or where you should be at that exact moment of your own life.

Life is always going to be a bit of a rollercoaster and will never be one smooth sailing ride towards the finish line. Because what really is the finish line anyway, and who knows where you’ll end up. Once one goal is achieved you’re only bound to make another one and who knows exactly what life has in store or where it will take you on your journey. Just remember that your timing is bound to be very different to someone else’s. So whatever your dreams or goals in life, just keep working on those things that make you happy. This is your unique journey and you’ll do things in your own time.

Samio x

Shop the look

<br />

July 3, 2017